Urgot's Misery
by Penniwhistle
Summary: Co-written by Hezzabelle. Things were going well until Taric goes to de-ward, and the enemy team gank... Urgot Taric Heimedinger Varus. One shot.


One day, Urgot was roaming through bot lane, wondering where his support had gone. Taric, his outrageous, fabulous support had gone to dazzle his team mates by warding Dragon pit. But on his travels, the entirely-should-have-expected happened: while killing the pink ward, the enemy jungler came to gank! The enemy Jungler was a most pecculiar of junglers. He was short in stature, had a large brain like head. It was the revered inventor Winkel, he had come to make sure he could Slay Taric for Great Science!

Standing valiantly, Taric declared "you shall be crushed by the onslaught of my precious stones." He longingly polished his hammer before charging deftly into the mad scientist.

"Back you Dirty Ape!" He yelled in displeasure. As he raised his dongers, ready for the on coming attack.

"I detect the presence of cum!" Urgot's Zaun techno-enhanced sense screamed as dongers were raised. Fearing he'd miss on the opportunity, he shuffled hurridly towards dragon, hoping he was not too late.

"Behold my outrageousness!" Taric cried as he swung his hammer at the unsuspecting Donger.

Urgot chuckled, the sound warped and alien through his machination of a vocal system. "The gift of eternal pain." Could Heimedinger not see the agony he caused when he put his beloved support's virtue at risk?

"Urgot you came to save me! You are like the Ruby that gives me vigor and the Sapphire that breathes divinity into me" Taric said in a hushed tone as he looked longingly at his beloved Attack Damage Carry. Urgot blushed, his palid flesh turning a deeper shade of pale. Wordlessly in appreciation of his lover, he fired up the Hyper-Kinetic Position Reverser, so the two of them could impale the Yordle together. He lifted his Zaun-touched Bolt Augmenter to his friend's lips, pieces of bloody afro still clinging to it.

"Systems ready," he begged.

"Let us be truly, truly outrageous... Together." He pined as his soft and fabulous lips carressed Urgot's. Taric pinched some drooping flesh where Urgot's posterior would be and then re-comensed his attack on the Donger. But as perfect teeth brushed against rotting dentures, a shadow fell across the lovers. They turned, eyes wide in surprise and fear - suddenly bound apart from each other, tendrils pulling the lovers apart. Taric screamed internally - how could he know?

"Pity those who cross me." Sneered the toned and muscular Carry Varus. As he readied his bow once more. His shirt had been ripped from his body, blood trickled from between his fingertips as he clenched his bow taut and loaded...but how could he harm the man he once called "Master?" Taric quivered in fear and anticipation as Varus slowly walked towards the Blue Team bottom lane duo. Taric's once glistening blue eyes had lost their lustre, like he had seen a ghost from his past. "I gave up everything for you, 'Gem Knight.' My wife, my home - you promised me a collar and enough dog food to keep me happy for years! I had to guard that pit with the eldritch fucking abomination just to make ends meet!" He collapsed, sobbing. "There is no salvation..."

"There is no salvation for the likes of you!" Urgot sneered. "The Gem Knight comes to my beck and call! You are a worthless dog of your temple in Ionia!" He fell upon the crying man, forgetting that he was not melee ranged while he tore at Varus' exposed flesh with his Acid Hunter. Taric screamed, still bound for he had not bought any Tenacity items yet.

Upon this opportunity Winkel unleashed his W, a barrage of Hextech Micro-Rockets, followed by his E the CH-1 Electron storm Grenade, Blinding and stunning Urgot into Place. Varus still in deepening sorrow over Taric used his Q to deal a final, excruciating blow onto Urgot's decaying flesh.

Taric, finally free from the snare, collapsed at his new lover's side. "Death is the only escape..." Urgot panted, before his life-support systems finally failed. "Must...punish..." His last words would haunt Taric for the rest of his life.

Varus slowly walked over to Taric. Taric's eyes met with Varus', so much pain and hatred reflected in the tears streaming from his eyes. Taric immediatley stood up and grabbed Varus' throat. Their eyes met again amidst the struggle. The struggle turned into a sweet embrace of sorrow.

Winkel once again interrupted, directing one of his turrets to rake Taric's back with thaum-enriched pellets, blowing the man to the floor. "We had a deal, Varus! I paid to catalogue Urgot's bionics, but I paid for more than that!" Unbuckling the Gem Knight's harness, he rolled Taric onto his stomach. "Get to work!"

Varus reluctantly started un-doing Taric's trousers. He looked over at Taric who looked like he had lost the will to live. With Winkel's persistance he pulled Taric's trousers off and slid off his bright pink underwear. "Whatever you do to me, get on with it. I have lost my love! I have nothing to live for! My most priceless Gem has been Shattered."

"You silly outragous man..." Varus whispered, slowly reaching into his pack, pulling a modified Hextech Micro-Rocket from his pouch. "No turning back," he warned, as the tip of the missile parted Taric's waxed cheeks. Taric had flash backs of when he and Varus were an unstoppable Bottom lane duo. The many Victory feasts they shared after battle and the many nights they had spent in their tent together. Taric knew what sweet sensation awaited him, as Varus' Chain of corruption slid up his anus. But his pleasure turned to horror, as the rocket eased into him - despite his vigourous colon-stretching regime, he felt more filled with each passing moment - and as he approached breaking point he screamed.

"Why Varus? Why?" Terror and pain filled the air.

"You made me do this!" Varus cried out! Tears streamed down Varus' face. "I did everything for you, I left everything for you. The pain I feel must be eased, and Heimerdinger gave me the solution." Taric with a burst of courage use his R to Gain bonus attack and attack speed, he used his Q to heal himself and fired his E 'Dazzle' at Heimerdinger. Winkel knew he was done for as the stun hit him, but he didn't realize that it was a critical hit and above him with his face in the Icon it said "(Taric Icon) RiotPhreak has slain TheBigBadLee!"


End file.
